It’s a new year

Man I’ve turned 35.  I’m another year older. I guess it’s only downhill from here I guess or uphill haha.  I’d like to say I’m another year wiser and that I’m more like Christ and I definitely think I’m more like Christ. I think God has given me more wisdom also.  I’m just not anywhere near where I want to be.  Today was just another day really.  I didn’t really do much to celebrate it.  I went to Starbucks with a sweet friend who gave me a present.  I was kind of disappointed that I didn’t really have a party or anything even though other friends had had parties.  I realized that I was just being selfish and self focused. Sometimes I feel like I’m invisible or that people don’t notice me as much but even that is being self focused.  I was wanting a party so I could be with people and celebrate but I was also just wanting attention.

I was thinking about this one time one of my friends Kaycee had one of our friends Laura make me a cake for my birthday and we sat there and ate the cake and celebrated my birthday.  Another time they had a party for me at a friends house and we did pedicures and manicures and had food and they wrote notes of encouragements and words of wisdom from godly sisters on things I could do in my life.  I want to call them tips but I don’t know if that’s right haha.  Kaycee was one of my greatest friends.  God blessed me greatly when He brought her into my life.  I remember her saying when she first saw me that God told her that we would be friends.  Kaycee would always tell me what I needed to hear and she would speak truth into my life so I would be more like Christ.  I always knew that she cared about me and she was always putting others above herself.  I want to be more like that.  Kaycee loved God and let that love for God impact her love for all others.  That is how I want to be and how I want people to remember me.

What God has taught me in the 34 years of life that he has given me cannot really be put in one blog post but I will try.  I’ve learned that every day we need to strive to live our lives in obedience to God and to live our lives in a way that glorifies and honors God.  One thing my mentor Kaycee taught me was to pray specifically about my son asking God to help me change and to put off my sin and to put on His qualities and characteristics.  One thing my mentor Holly Summers taught me was how I should pray for God to give me a distaste of my sin or even a hatred for my sin.  I should pray that He would reveal my sin to me.  She’s also helped me more to realize I don’t need to worry about what people think about me because it is only God who can judge me and it is only because of Jesus that I can be declared holy and righteous in the sight of God.  Whatever people think or say about me whether good or bad it only matters if my life and what I am doing or thinking or saying is pleasing to God.  One of my professors Dr. Catanzaro taught me no matter how I feel I need to live my life asking what it is that God wants me to do and do it.  Something I’ve learned also is that I can’t rely on my feelings but I need to rely on the truth of God’s Word.  I may feel lonely or invisible sometimes but the truth is God created me and He sees me and He loves me.  He has a place for me to be used for the glory of His name and the growth of His kingdom.  Let’s continue to run the race and to complete that which Christ Jesus has called us to do!