This world is not my home

My mom used to sing this song and I used to hear it a lot when I was younger.  Rich Mullins has a live recording of it that I really like.

This world is not my home I’m just a passing through

My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue

The angels beckon me from heaven’s open door

And I can’t feel at home in this world anymore 

Oh Lord you know I have no friend like you

If Heaven’s not my home than Lord what will I do

The angels beckon me from Heaven’s open door

And I can’t feel at home in this world anymore 

Sometimes I don’t feel like I fit in this world.  I was taking with a sweet godly friend yesterday and she was telling me that she thinks sometimes the way I process things are unique.  There are some situations that whether I haven’t been around them as much or if they are new or what it is but I don’t always know how to respond.  I’m not sure I’m alone in that.  I think there are other people that might be or feel like that sometimes.  I think if we are honest with ourselves there are times when we all feel a little different or odd.  Anyways, I’m not sure I know entirely what she means or what that means for my life but I know that God has given me a way of seeing different trials and hard things in my life where I know that no matter what happens in my life He is using it to make me more like Christ and He is working all things out for my good (Romans 8:28-30). Of course He has given that to all of us, especially if we are His child.  

 There have been lots of hard times in my life.  My dad has either Alzheimer’s or dementia and he cannot remember people or things.  Right now he basically just sits all day in his room and does nothing.  He can’t really talk or move.  I know even this has a purpose though and that it is to help me become more like Christ.

There have been times in my life when I’ve been really lonely and depressed and the biggest demons really are the thoughts in my own head and my sin nature.  God has helped me so much and brought people into my life to teach me things and  I know I need to and want to help others with what they are going through.  To quote the Spider-man quote, to much is given, much is required, or something  like that.   I have struggled through so so much in my life and God has brought so many people in my life to help me with that and I don’t want to know there’s somebody who might be struggling with something similar or even not similar, that God can use me to help them with, and I don’t.

That is why I started studying biblical counseling and why I came here to Oregon.  I came so that I could learn more about biblical counseling and so that I might be able to help people through biblical counseling and I have been able to do both. I have been able to learn so much about myself by being here, both about my weaknesses and strengths.  I love it here in Oregon and feel like I might have found where I belong but God knows if He wants me to be here now or if maybe not now some other time.  I believe there are reasons God has brought me to Oregon at this time though and that there are things He wants to teach me and things He wants me to teach others.

Also, currently with the Corona situation we are no longer having what we would consider to be regular worship services for a month and instead are meeting in small groups as much as possible for both the purpose of bible study and community as well as to pray and discuss ways we can help our community at this time.  There is sort of a scare going on in the world and I believe whatever the purpose might be that God wants to draw Christians closer to Himself and draw more people to Himself as well.  “For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:13.  Y’all let’s continue to draw near to God and pray for ourselves, each other, and the world.  Let’s pray that God does a great work among us.